This past New Year’s Eve I was unable to attend with my boyfriend and a few of our couples friends we have been out with on several occasions for years now. On New Years Day, I awoke to find a picture of my boyfriend with his face buried in our married friends breast with the comment “thank god we are good friends.” Am I overreacting by telling them that I feel disrespected, that I am absolutely crushed by the inappropriate act that they say was staged. I feel it showed an intimacy shared by the two of them. I feel it was a very unkind thoughtless act and that I am being made fun of. I am flat-chested and she is very well endowed Am I wrong in feeling that?
I think your boyfriend and friend made a very poor, thoughtless decision and that it probably had nothing to do with you at all. More likely, there was some drinking going on (New Year’s Eve, right?) and people sometimes do stupid things when they’re drinking. It’s all in fun, right? Yeah, not so much.
It’s understandable that you’re feeling crummy about the picture and I think you should talk to your boyfriend (and probably your friend as well) about how you’re feeling. You’re entitled to your feelings. The trick is taking this opportunity to have a meaningful talk about those feelings. If you approach it in terms of how their act made you feel, without accusing, without assuming that you know what their intentions were, the conversation will probably go a lot better. I doubt your boyfriend meant to make you feel bad. But he needs to understand how his actions made you feel so it won’t happen again.
I am very fat, and have a tiny penis, which does not even protrude from my body when standing. It has been a source of embarrassment my whole life, even though I have fathered a child and am happily married. My consuming obsession is a fantasy that I am naked in front of a woman, or group of women who laugh at me. I am not sure if this is healthy...what do you think?
Two things. First, focus on the present. You have a healthy child and a loving marriage right? Make sure you take time everyday to appreciate the “today” parts of your life.
Second, I am not a medical expert so I’m not going to offer medical advice but I am going to suggest talking to a doctor about weight loss. If your body image issues are causing you emotional stress, then it’s probably a good idea to start dealing with those issues. Talking to a doctor about losing weight and possibly to a counselor to work on the obsessive thoughts you’ve having about the size of your penis will help you live a much healthier life. I don’t think obsessing about anything is very healthy and it probably takes time away from the life you could be living.
Don't be shy! Say what's on your mind and get a good dose of perspective in return.