Dear Amy,
I'm a figure skater. I started in 6th grade now I’m a freshman. Over the years I haven’t gotten much better as a skater, even though I put in a lot of time and money. I go for class lessons and have a private coach. Its expensive and I don't really enjoy it because I’m not really good. All the girls my age are a lot better and are in higher levels. Younger girls that are really skinny and short and small are in very high levels because they have the capability to jump high in the air. I’m very tall, I’m about 5'8 and I think this greatly affects this concept. I know there are some skaters as tall as me, but the majority are a lot shorter. Like 5'2 or shorter. Also I get really nervous at competitions because I’m not good and it’s embarrassing and I always get last place even though I’m not in a very high level. So I need advice on whether or not I should quit I’ve been thinking about quitting for a while now and some people think I should quit, others don't. I honestly don't know because my mom has put in a lot of money for this and I’ve put in a lot of time but also I don’t want to keep on putting in time and my mom to keep on putting in money if I’m not getting better at it and if I don't enjoy it.. I would want to try something else like volleyball because I’m tall so I think I would be good at it. So trust me I don't want to quit because I'm lazy because I'm not. I like being active, I just want to find something I'm good in. So do you think I should quit or not? Dear Searching, I think you should have a very honest talk with your mom about how you’re feeling. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to find something that you’re better at than figure skating but it would be a good idea to talk through it. Look at the pro’s and con’s. Tell your mom how it makes you feel, how you aren’t enjoying it much and then let her know that there are other things you’d like to try. If she’s agrees, then quit and try something new. If not, stick it out a while longer and give it your best shot. In life, we sometimes have to see things through even when they turn out not to be right for us. So a lot will depend on what you and your mom decide. I imagine that if you have a very meaningful talk with her, you can come up with a plan together that will give you the chance to try new things but will also ensure that you’re not losing anything by quitting too quickly. Bottom line: every single experience you have is going to shape the person you are. So even if you’re not the best figure skater in the world and even if you’ve put in a ton of time and money, this is always going to be something you look back on as being a big part of your life. One of the most important things you can ever learn in life is to take everything that comes as a chance to learn and grow. Good luck! Amy |
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