Hard Choices to Make

Dear Amy,
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, when I was 14 and he was 16. Now I am 17 and he is 19 he gets on my nerves, but I love him very deeply. I find myself having a very flirty relationship with a 16 year old boy at my work who I fantasize about now and then. I decided to search this because it's becoming that bad. I would never cheat or leave my boyfriend, although I can't stop thinking about this boy from work. We have such a fun and playful friendship but he also has a girlfriend. I told him once I had a little girl crush on him and he said well you have a boyfriend which makes me wonder if I didn't things would be different between me and the co worker. It's very confusing for me. I think I love them both and I don't want to do anything to ruin my relationship or the friendship I have with this boy.
 
Dear Choices,

    Life is full of choices and I think you’re going to have to make one soon. Unlike the movies, things don’t generally work themselves out into neat little piles. You’re very young and you’ve been with your boyfriend for a very long time. You have a whole life ahead of you and I think that what you’re experiencing now has to do with your own personal growth. As a girl who married her high school sweetheart (yep, that’s me), I want to suggest that you take a step back and give yourself room to have a life of your own. I’m trying really hard here not to sound like a stuffy adult saying things like “you’re too young” but having been in the exact spot you’re in now, I can tell you that your life is going to take a lot of twists and turns and that the things you think are important now may seem different later.
     The best you can do is to be honest, especially with yourself. Maybe the truth right now is that you’re not sure you still want to be with your boyfriend but you also love him and don’t want to hurt him.  Maybe the truth is that your crush on the co-worker is a fleeting thing and it won’t amount to much. Choosing what to do next is really up to you because you’re going to have to live with the consequences of your decisions. But that’ll be true throughout your life. So what I would suggest now is to take a long hard look at yourself and what you want out of life. Will you be heading off to college soon? What will your life look like next year? Or in five years?
     Sometimes the decisions you make, hurt. The best thing you can do is to try to be compassionate and to be honest with those you love.
     There you have it. Wishing you luck and courage as you move forward in life.

Amy