Feeling Disrespected

Dear Amy,
This past New Year’s Eve I was unable to attend with my boyfriend and a few of our couples friends we have been out with on several occasions for years now. On New Years Day, I awoke to find a picture of my boyfriend with his face buried in our married friends breast with the comment “thank god we are good friends.” Am I overreacting by telling them that I feel disrespected, that I am absolutely crushed by the inappropriate act that they say was staged. I feel it showed an intimacy shared by the two of them. I feel it was a very unkind thoughtless act and that I am being made fun of. I am flat-chested and she is very well endowed Am I wrong in feeling that?

Dear Disrespected,

      I think your boyfriend and friend made a very poor, thoughtless decision and that it probably had nothing to do with you at all. More likely, there was some drinking going on (New Year’s Eve, right?) and people sometimes do stupid things when they’re drinking. It’s all in fun, right? Yeah, not so much.
     It’s understandable that you’re feeling crummy about the picture and I think you should talk to your boyfriend (and probably your friend as well) about how you’re feeling. You’re entitled to your feelings. The trick is taking this opportunity to have a meaningful talk about those feelings. If you approach it in terms of how their act made you feel, without accusing, without assuming that you know what their intentions were, the conversation will probably go a lot better. I doubt your boyfriend meant to make you feel bad. But he needs to understand how his actions made you feel so it won’t happen again.

Amy