Feeling Brokenhearted

Dear Amy,
     Me and my ex broke up way back in February. But ever since we've found it hard to stay away from each other. We talked about getting back together but never did because he said "oh schools ending" but yet on the last day he’s all over me saying he'll call me during summer and putting his arm around me. He never called. Now we're back…he said hi and I just smiled…we still haven’t talked more than two words to each other and its killing me...sometimes I think I’m over him but I just cant move on after all this time. I mean getting back together would be great but at the least I want to be friends. Is he over me? Does he even care? I always catch him staring and making faces when I talk to guys. But he’s with this girl a lot and walking her to class which is what he did to me before we dated...I really don’t know what to do...everyone tells me to just get over him but i really can’t.

Dear Brokenhearted,

     Sometimes after a break up, we cling to the familiar. It’s not surprising that you two had a hard time staying apart. You were probably both in need of comfort. But I think if you were going to get back together, it would have happened by now. Having a hard time moving forward is normal and since you and your ex spent some time keeping your feelings alive after the break up, it’s understandable that moving on has been especially difficult for you. But the longer you hold on to the idea of getting back together, the longer it will take you to heal. And if he’s indeed moving on with someone else, holding on is going to be very painful.
     My suggestion is that you take some time to think about things that make you happy that don’t have anything to do with relationships. Are you involved in school clubs or sports? Do you love hanging out with your friends? Take this time to do things that you enjoy. Things that get your excited about life and that don’t require that you’re dating someone. It’ll help you take the focus off of your loneliness and back on what’s most importance…your happiness.

Amy