Amy Answers
  • Home
  • Answers
  • Articles
  • Resources
  • About Amy
  • Contact

Amy's Answers

Worried About Facebook Findings

12/9/2014

 
Dear Amy,
My boyfriend is looking up his ex girlfriend on Facebook almost daily, I confronted him and he tells me all he wants is me. I am worried he is still into her if he keeps looking her up. I am divorced and am living with my boyfriend of three years. He treats me good and I am happy I just don't want to fall in a rut like before. Is this something I should be worried about?


Dear Worried,

      Ok, let’s look at the hard truth here. Your boyfriend may very well still have feelings for his ex. BUT, that doesn’t mean that he isn’t committed to you. I’m going to break away from the people out there who assume that when you go into a new relationship, you completely leave behind the old one. No you don’t! If you loved someone, you are probably going to have feelings for them (at some level) for a long time. Maybe forever. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to move on and it doesn’t mean your boyfriend isn’t telling you the truth when he says that all he wants is you. So, if you can accept that what I’m saying is true, you will find it much easier to move forward.
     However, I am a little concerned about why you know that he looks her up daily. I’m a firm believer in the idea that cyber snooping is the downfall of many a good relationship. In fact, social media has made privacy a near impossibility. Relationships are built on trust and so my question to you is, how do you know? Has he told you? Have you been watching him? Do you share an account? If you are keeping an eye on his online activities, I would ask you consider why that is. Has he given you any reason not to trust him? Or is it possible that your previous relationship has made you overly sensitive to issues of trust? Or maybe both?
     So I would consider these things and try to figure out if the issue is with your boyfriend or with you. Or both. It’s at least a little of both because its clearly becoming an issue between the two of you. And then I would address it head-on. Talk with your boyfriend (don’t confront) about how it makes you feel. Instead of accusing, try to help him understand why it’s a problem for you. At this point, he hasn’t done anything wrong. Looking at a person’s profile on Facebook is not necessarily a sign of anything other than nosiness. So try not to make it a battle between you. Talk. Find a place of understanding. And move forward with this person who treats you well and makes you happy.

Amy

Comments are closed.

    Ask Amy

    Don't be shy! Say what's on your mind and get a good dose of perspective in return. 

    Archives

    October 2018
    September 2017
    July 2016
    October 2015
    September 2015
    June 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014

    Categories

    All
    Abusive Relationships
    Addiction
    Aging
    Alcoholism
    Blended Families
    Breakups
    Bullying
    Consent
    Culture
    Dating
    Divorce
    Drug Use
    Elder Abuse
    Family
    Flirting
    Friendship
    Friends With Benefits
    Grief
    Healthy Sexuality
    Identity Theft
    Infidelity
    Intimacy
    Jealousy
    Kids
    Loss Of Loved One
    Love
    Marriage
    Money
    Obsessive Thinking
    Parenting
    Peer Pressure
    Professional
    Relationships
    Safety
    School
    Self Esteem
    Self Image
    Sex
    Sexual Assault
    Sexual Harassment
    Siblings
    Spirituality
    Sports
    Technology
    Teenagers
    Verbal Abuse
    Work

    RSS Feed

Disclaimer: Though this site is intended for a wide range of ages, there may be some sexual content in some posts. Questions may be edited to make them more appropriate for a public audience. 
Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Answers
  • Articles
  • Resources
  • About Amy
  • Contact