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Timing is Everything

11/8/2014

 
Dear Amy,
Just wanted to ask a question, how long before meeting someone new, that you should sleep with them?


 Dear Timing,

     Hmm, maybe now…maybe never. Deciding to sleep with someone is such an incredibly personal decision and there are a lot of considerations. My own personal feeling is that the younger you are, the longer you should wait. People (especially women) often read so much more into sexual encounters that it’s good to know where you are in your life and how sex is going to affect you…and often that kind of self-awareness comes with time and experience.
     On the other hand, I’m not a prude when it comes to sex and I don’t see anything wrong with having some good safe and consensual sex at whatever point feels comfortable to you. Where my cautious side sets in is on the topic of safety. Not knowing someone well….let’s say, same day you meet someone new…exposes you to risks to both your physical health and your emotional well-being. Of course there are no guarantees ever, but spending time getting to know someone will give you a better sense of who they are and where they’ve been. Sex is stinking fantastic but not enough to wind up with some life-threatening disease or to end up alone with someone violent or abusive.
     So, let me put it this way. Don’t have sex without thinking about it first. Consider the options and what you hope to get out of the situation. Don’t wait until clothes are coming off and you’re too caught up in the passionate stuff to make an informed decision for yourself. Otherwise, have fun and be safe.

Amy

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