Scared to Move In

Dear Amy,
I'm having the weirdest issue. I've been with my girlfriend about 7 months, and I get along great with her family. But her family talks about her to me and I'm getting a bit scared. Her step-father does it the most, he basically warns me about her. Tells me if I decided to break it off he understands why because guys never stick around. He's also her landlord and tells me how nasty the house is when I'm not around, and how filthy she is on a regular basis. He tells me he's feels I should know what's really going on, and not to move into her place and leave my own. And it seems he genuinely is looking out for me, other family members also comment about similar things. I fell in love with her from the day I met her, and even though she lives 8 hrs away I was willing to move. But her family warning me is a tough pill to swallow and I'm literally scared at this point. What do I do? Nobody ever sticks around and this is why. If I tell her I run the risk of being hated by her family.

Dear Scared,

      feel really sorry for this girl. Her family is sabotaging her relationship with you. It doesn’t really matter if what they say is “true”, because it’s really an issue of perspective. Whatever issues they have with her, and as much as they may like you, its really pretty rotten of them to be bringing this to you in this manner. If she was a serial killer or a drug addict, then maybe it might be good for you to know that ahead of time. But not a neat freak? I can think of many worse qualities. And maybe with you, she’ll tidy up. Maybe she’s never had much motivation to do so before.
     Either way, this decision is really yours and I suggest you consider it very carefully. On the one hand, you may move in with a slob and decide that’s not the life you want…there are no guarantees no matter what you do. On the other hand, if you bend to this pressure, you may lose the girl of your dreams. Is it worth it? Whatever you decide, you're the one who will have to live with the decision so make sure it's you who's deciding, not them. 
     PS, maybe nobody ever sticks around because her family runs them off. Consider that.

Amy