Reluctant to Scare Him Off

Dear Amy,
I just met this very nice and respectful guy that makes me feel like an absolute queen. He always tells me how pretty I look even when I know I'm at my worst. He always gives me his warm hugs every time we see one another. We text each other every other day because we see each other a lot by us being neighbors. He lets me get his new car. He is great with my children taking them to school and stuff like that but there is only one thing...we have never went out together on a date. He would invite me over to his place and he would fix the mood as if we are out on a date and have candle lit dinners and movie. Its so romantic but we have not been out yet. I don't know if we are in a relationship or just good friends, I just play by the music not asking him what are he and I are doing because I don't want to mess up things since it seem as if we are into a relationship already and it's only been 2 months since we met. So I need your advice to know am I doing the right thing by keeping my mouth closed or do I need to take a chance and bring up to him and ask what are we doing even if he may get cold feet like most men do and start backing off.

Dear Reluctant,

      Generally speaking, I would say that candle lit dinners and romantic movies at home are pretty much dates. In fact, doing this at home is probably a lot more intimate really than it would be if you went out together. My personal preference is to be up front about things. You can say to him that you are really enjoying spending time with him and looking forward to what this relationship may bring. Could it make him back off? I suppose so. But all evidence to the contrary.
     On the other hand, you could just ask him out on a date and see what he says. Something like “hey, would you like to have dinner out this week?” If he hesitates, at least it’ll give you a gauge on how quickly to move.
     The bottom line is that if you don’t take risks then nothing happens. If you’re content to just sit back and let things happen as they happen, then doing nothing isn’t a horrible choice. But if its bothering you….if you’re finding yourself confused by mixed signals or wanting to be more “official” about things then you might as well just go for it. Given that you’re seeing a lot of each other, he’s already very involved in your life and he’s fixing you romantic dinners and is physically affectionate…I think there’s a pretty good chance you two are on the same page.

Be brave.

Amy