Relationship Difficulty

Dear Amy,
I have been in a relationship for 8 years. It has been very difficult. He has told me several times that he does not want to see me anymore and that we would never be a couple. I don't talk to him, and then 3 or 4 weeks later he is back to texting and calling me. We are both 61 years old and he does not want to face the fact that he is getting old. He wants someone who is younger. Friends tell me I need to walk away from him and move forward.

Dear Difficulty,

This sounds beyond difficult…whatever his motivations are (and I know that getting old is especially hard for men), he’s really treating you very badly. He’ll keep coming back because he’s not being honest with himself about what he really wants and needs. Younger isn’t necessarily better. But, putting that aside, my main concern is with you. Despite the history you to share, it’s probably time to consider whether this relationship is really healthy for you. You deserve someone who’s going to treat you well and the easiest way to find that someone is to demand that you be treated well. Make it unacceptable for this guy to ditch you and then call again later. Draw the line and let him know you’re doing so, not because you don’t care for him, but because you care about yourself.

Amy