My boyfriend recently broke up with me about 3 days ago and he asked me if it’s OK to date my friend yesterday. I said its OK to both my friend and my ex but honestly I feel hurt and I'm not good enough. How do I get over him and just not care? I want them both to be happy but I also want to be happy as well.
It’s unfortunate that both your friend and your boyfriend didn’t wait a little bit longer to make the whole situation a little easier on you (sure, sometimes friends date ex's but sheesh, its been 3 days). The truth is, we often say things are ok when they’re not. It may have seemed like it would be ok but being in the situation is a lot different than thinking about it, right? So, I think you have to start by acknowledging that you are hurt…that’s it’s really not ok for them to be dating, even if you said it was…and that it’s absolutely normal for you to be feeling this way.
Now, about getting over him and not caring….hmm, its not likely to happen. Yes, you will get over him but don’t make not caring a part of that or you’re setting yourself up for disaster. You’re going to care. It’s your friend he’s dating so this isn’t going to go away. And you can give yourself permission (in fact, I’m giving you permission too) to feel kind of crummy about the whole thing and to continue feeling a little crummy about it as long as you feel like it.
I would suggest just being honest about how you’re feeling (without being hateful). If you and your friend are going to remain friends then she probably needs to understand that you’re hurting and things aren’t ok right now but they will be eventually. It’s admirable for you to want them to be happy but you don’t have to sacrifice your own happiness or stifle your feelings in order to make that happen.
And one final note…of course you’re good enough. This relationship wasn’t the right one for you but that doesn’t mean that you won’t find one that’s better. Take care of yourself.
Don't be shy! Say what's on your mind and get a good dose of perspective in return.