My Boyfriend is Incommunicado

Dear Amy,
What should you do if you haven't talked to your boyfriend in 2 weeks??? He says he doesn't have a phone and I believe him but I don't think its good for our relationship!?? So please help me. BTW I'm 15!!

Dear Incommunicado,

      After reading your question, I found myself wondering how you met your boyfriend. I would have assumed you’d met him at school given your age, but then I wondered why you haven’t seen him for two weeks. Clearly, I’m missing something. But either way, I think my advice would be pretty much the same so I’m going to press on. It stinks not to be able to talk to your boyfriend everyday or even just more regularly. And yes, it does make a relationship difficult BUT not impossible. I would suggest finding other ways to communicate. Here are some suggestions:

• Email
  
• Facebook
  
• Snail Mail (this one was quite popular with teenagers way back in the day and there’s something kind of romantic about receiving letters from someone you care about). 
  

     Now, if the problem is that your boyfriend is not much of a communicator, that’s a different issue altogether. Males and females communicate very differently and as a result, we girls often find ourselves a little ticked off at our male counterparts for their lack of understanding in our need for constant contact. This may not be the case for you, but if it is, the only possibility for fixing it is to talk to your boyfriend about how it makes you feel when you don’t hear from him for weeks. It may help, it may not, but being honest about how you feel is never a bad thing and it’s good to get into practice of being open like that now…you’ll need those skills in every relationship you have.
     Ok, so one last thought. If your boyfriend disappears for large periods of time, this may not end up being the kind of relationship that’s going to be comfortable for you. And it’s okay to understand that about yourself. You are absolutely entitled to decide what kinds of things you like and are willing to live with in a relationship. You can’t make someone else fit that mold if they don’t (round peg, square hole) but recognizing the things that you need in a relationship will make it more likely that you find someone who meets those needs.

Wishing you good luck.

Amy