Looking for Love on a Shoestring
I know of someone desperately wanting to be in a relationship, but is on limited income. He is only able to afford a night out, (movie, dinner, etc.) like once a month. Is it worth it of him even trying to get involved?
When I read your question, I had to spend a few minutes feeling sad for the state of affairs in our society. Why in the world should it matter how much money a person has when looking for love? Of course, it’s mattered forever right? How many stories have we heard about people waiting to marry or never marrying the person they loved because they didn’t have the income.
So, after much consideration, here’s what I’ve come to. It’s 2014 and dammit, the answer is yes! He should most definitely try to get involved with someone. If your friend is looking for companionship, he shouldn’t allow his limited income to keep him from finding what he needs.
Ok, so now for the practical advice. Your friends’ limited income may simply require that he think outside the box. If you’re been reading my answers, you’ll notice a theme. Honestly, communication, boundaries. Your friend is going to have to be honest about his situation. The reality is that he probably can’t afford to go the Match.com route for dating. Why do we invite people out to dinner or a movie anyway? It’s usually because we don’t know the person well enough to choose something more personal and so we’re sticking to safe places where we know that the other person will most likely find something they like despite our lack of knowledge.
My advice for your friend is that he start his search for companionship in a slightly different way. Namely, he should start from common interests. Wherever you live, there are usually tons of free and low-cost options of things to do. Libraries have events based on books and other interests. Meet-up.com is a great place to find people who like to do similar things, whether its hiking, cooking, making art or even just sharing a glass of wine. Your friends’ best bet, in my estimation, is to spend time in places where he enjoys doing some activity. He’ll meet people who also like those activities and will be able to form relationships based on common interest rather than generic romantic activities. Going to dinner or seeing a movie can be reserved for special occasions. Heck, who said your friend has to pay for every date anyway? It’s 2014! It’s unfair and unfortunate that men are still expected to pay for every date (my humble if not popular opinion).
Tell your friend to be open and honest with the people he wants to get involved with. Most of us have struggled with income at one time or another and if he makes it clear that the relationship is more important to him than money, he may just find that his special someone will feel the same way.
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