Looking for an Exit

Dear Amy,
In a relationship with a 76 yr. old man that I have dated 9 mos. He said he was 66 online. He has been divorced for 25 yrs. Dates a great deal. 3 daughters and 7 grandchildren. I was married for 15 yrs. I have been single for 25 yrs. and divorced that long. Both of us have not remarried a second time. His ex wife is getting divorced after 8 yrs. of marriage to a man who also ran off with her money. Being destitute, she wants her first husband back (the man I am dating). Problem is: their middle daughter is trying to put mom and dad back together and fall in love again. She is 75 yrs. old. That relieves them of many responsibilities. What the daughter does is invite the father over for dinner to be with 2 of his grandsons and then in pops the ex wife. She brings food and stays awhile. This happens every other month. She doesn't want to be alone and she knows he is dating me. I do believe I should exit this relationship. Your help is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

Dear Looking,

      I’ve been thinking a great deal about your question and I find myself making some assumptions that may not be altogether correct. But here goes. You’ve been single a long time and my impression is that you’re finding this relationship to be more trouble than it’s worth? Is that close?
     Is the man you’re dating showing an interest in rekindling things with his ex? If so, then yes, maybe it’s a good time to step out of the relationship. On the other hand, if its just the daughter’s meddling that is frustrating, maybe a good talk with the man you’re seeing about boundaries and trust is in order. He and his ex seeing each other for a little while every few months is probably not cause for too much panic. Unless it is. How’s your relationship with him? How about your relationship with his daughter?
     f the bottom line is that you’re perfectly comfortable being single and this relationship is causing more drama than you’d like to have in your life, a graceful and compassionate exit might be just the thing to make things simpler. If, however, you would like to continue dating this man, then I suggest some open and honest communication about how the presence of his ex in his life and his daughter’s behavior is affecting you. Maybe he’s finding the whole thing annoying too and he needs to have a talk with his daughter about boundaries. 
     Either way, I am a firm believer in making informed decisions that feel right for you. Your happiness is the top priority.

Amy