In the Doghouse

Dear Amy,
I didn't get my wife of 24 years anything special for Christmas this year although now she’s mad and wont talk to me. I really don't know how to make this up to her. We did get several things early.

Dear Doghouse,

Ok, so I have two questions and thoughts.
     First, do you usually get her something special? If so, what happened this year? If the early presents were the special presents, talk to her about it honestly. Validate her feelings. We all get bent out of shape at times. It’ll be ok.
     Second, if you don’t usually get her something special, is there a reason she may have been hoping for something now? You’ve been together a long time and if she’s feeling a little blue or feels like things have been getting a little “comfortable” she may have been hoping for something to liven things up. Or it may have nothing to do with Christmas at all. Luckily, there’s only one way to find out.
     So, here’s what I’d suggest. Take her out for a nice dinner and talk to her about what’s going on. Ask her why she’s been so upset and listen. I mean really listen, without getting defensive, without worrying about making it up to her. You can’t always make things up to someone in the way you think. But showing her that you really care and want to make her happy may just get you guys through this hump.

Amy