In a Messy Relationship
I am so confused I do not no what to do or believe anymore. Six years ago I started sleeping with someone that was already in a relationship with another. This went on for a couple of years, which over this time I had grown quite fond of this person and found myself in love with them. I knew that the one they where with was wrong for them in many ways, but I never tried to force them apart. Now throughout this time they also have professed their love for me. Have managed to say they never want to lose me. And we both agree the sex is great. Well after about three years of making love everyday it stopped, now it was once a week hit or miss. Well I discovered they were seeing another so now there is three of us and even though they proclaim they love me and I have ruined it (sex) for everyone else, for I am the best and the other two don't even compare. Well they spend and get all of their time. As now they live back and forth between both of them. But they manage to see me everyday and do nothing but complain about both of them. They also claim they do not make love to them as its a waste of time. So that's what I get to make love and leave. While they both play house with them. So I guess I get the sex and they get to split the relationship part, So what is wrong with me? I am the best of both and then some, I satisfy there every need, They say they love me all the time, but not enough to be with me. What am I doing so wrong? I only want to be special and loved in return.
I think that this is one of those cases where love just isn’t enough. You are really being treated very badly. I’m always a little wary of starting of a relationship with someone who’s already involved elsewhere. It’s tricky and it brings up issues of trust and respect for me. But the fact that your significant other has started another relationship in addition to the two already going is a big red flag for me. Is this intended to be an open relationship?
Here’s the rub…you’re probably not going to get what you want out of this relationship. It’s not you. From what I gather, the person you’re with seems to be looking for something and they haven’t found it. Or they’re just being very unfair to you and everyone involved. It’s hard to know the exact motivations but it doesn’t sound like things are heading in a good direction for you.
So here’s my suggestion. State very clearly what you want out of the relationship and then if your partner can’t deliver, say goodbye. You deserve to have someone who wants to focus on the relationship with you and only you. Unless you’re signing up for an open relationship, it’s really not acceptable to have to live with one by default.
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