I Survived Childhood Abuse

Dear Amy,
I was sexually and physically abused by my stepfather starting at the age of 8. My mother was aware of most of it especially the physical abuse. I'm 47. My mother tells me to get over the past and that it has no bearing on today. Why does she not understand? Feeling small all over again.

Dear Survived,

      I’m sorry that this happened to you and I’m even more sorry that your mother has not only been aware of it but continues to ignore the impact it’s had on your life. Sexual and physical abuse have long lasting effects on the victim including sleep disturbances and nightmares, PTSD, depression and a laundry list of other complications. It’s 100% normal for you to still be dealing with the abuse and its impact on your life so please believe me when I say that yes, it absolutely does bear on today.
     I can’t begin to imagine what’s going on in your mother’s life that makes her look at the abuse as irrelevant, but I’m really more concerned with you. Have you been in counseling? There are a lot of support groups for abuse survivors and there are great counselors out there who can help you work on overcoming the abuse you’ve suffered. Many states offer several free counseling sessions for sexual abuse survivors regardless of how long ago it happened or whether it was ever reported. RAINN has an excellent hotline (both phone and online) with advocates who can help you find resources in your area.
     Your mother is wrong. You are entitled to your feelings about the abuse. It should never have happened. It was not your fault. And you are not alone. There are a lot of people out there who want to help you and be there for you, even if your mother isn’t. Look to them for strength when you need it and give yourself credit for every step you’ve taken in your life to move forward. You are a survivor and you are amazing.

Amy