High School Purgatory
I currently need some advice like fast. I'm a sophomore in high school and i am at school in the library, during lunch break, because i guess i don't have any friends anymore. I honestly don't know what to do, no one is talking to me.
It all started because one of my friends (friend 1 ) was talking to me at lunch on tuesday about everything i ever did negative in our friendship like i acidently lost a few of her things, i understand my fault. But then she texts me during 6th period on tuesday about how their all tired of my " shit " so their not talking to me and i mean all of them. What do i do ? Please help.
That's what high school tends to be. Purgatory. You're not out in the "real world" yet but you get all the complications of a complex social scene. I'm sorry your friends are bailing on you and while I promise it won't last forever, I also was a high school girl once and it can be the pits! So you and friend 1 got in fight and now the whole crowd is taking sides? Here's the thing with high school girls. They all (we all...I was there once too) tend to be overly dramatic and very catty in the way we deal with one another. Part of this has to do with the way that girls relate to one another in general. Girls focus on the social pecking order. As females, we are tuned in to relationships and sometimes that's great. But it also means that we experiment. We want to see what kinds of reactions we can get out of others. Add all the pressures of being a teenager to the mix and high school is a perfect place for drama to unfold on a regular basis.
You've seen it before right? If you look around you, there's a constant stream of drama. You may even find yourself right up in the middle of it. I remember taking sides. I remember getting so wrapped up in social situations that feel like the end of the world. I promise they're not, but I know it doesn't feel that way right now.
So here's my advice to you (and this advice will serve you well in your adult life too). You CANNOT control how other people react or feel. Ever. The only thing you CAN control is how you react and feel. So make the decision right now to not be a part of the drama. Take responsibility for your actions but don't let your friends make you miserable. This week's drama will be replaced by next week's drama and if you make it perfectly clear that you are not going to get sucked into these shenanigans, they'll lose interest in the silent treatment and you'll find that things get easier. Take this time to think about you and how you want your life to be. As adults, we sometimes think we are powerless and it starts with situations like this. You are not powerless! You can decide how you are going to spend your time and who you will be spending it with. Hanging out in the library? Fine! Read about something you want to learn about. Think about a place you'd like to travel or something you'd like to do after high school. When they see that you're not bothered by their behavior, you'll see that the power has shifted back to you.
Be patient. Be kind. And above all, be brave.
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