I broke up with my boyfriend in january of this year. I've wanted him back ever since but i thought he hated me. In like march he wrote me these little notes saying he misses me and ever since we've been "talking" as in "together but not together". We were sort of friends with benefits and For the past month he's been saying he needs time to think and he's unsure of what to do. Last week he said he didn't wanna be "committed" but that he really liked me (still) and he was really hurt when i dumped him and he was scared. I told him if i didn't think we would work i wouldn't be putting in so much effort to make things work and if we weren't dating then he couldn't touch me. When he said he needed time to think i tried giving him space and left him alone and i wouldnt let him touch me. Three days later He thought i was mad at him and he said i sent my friends to talk to him (which i didn't). And he said "oh you know..the school years ending and I'm tired of this..and when you dumped me it really messed with my self confidence" and I told him "don't tell me you have feelings for me and want to be with me and give up so easily. you haven't even been trying to make this work" and before he could say anything his friends pulled him away.. i don't know how to feel or how he feels or if i should cut him off or if he even cares..all i know is how much this hurts.
Dear Second Thoughts,
My guess is that your instincts told you this wasn't going to work in the first place, which is why you broke up. But break-ups are hard for everyone and it's tempting to go back in time. Unfortunately, you can't go back. You can only go forward. So if you two end up moving forward, I would suggest doing so with a clean slate. Don't try to get back what you had. Start something new.
Stick with your "hands off" policy. You deserve a relationship, not just a roll in the hay (unless that's what you want). It's okay to expect more.
Give yourself some time to think about what you really want. Is it really this guy?
Don't be shy! Say what's on your mind and get a good dose of perspective in return.