A couple of weeks ago I reunited with a man I dated 34 years ago when we were just teenagers. We live 15 minutes apart and we both work 12 hour days. I have every weekend off and he has every other weekend off. This year, his weekend off fell on Valentine's Day. That morning he texted and wished me a Happy Valentine's Day. I responded and invited him to dinner. To my surprise, he didn't respond. Later, 2 1/2 hours later after I texted him again, he still didn't seem too interested. Needless to say I was hurt by his lack of enthusiasm and didn't get to spend any time with him. He tells me he's very interested in me, but his actions on V-Day said different. I didn't need gifts or to go out, I simply wanted to spend time with him. So the following day he asked if I was still angry and I broke up with him. I didn't think I was asking too much for a little bit of his time since we only get two days out if the week to see each other. He said he just didn't have the energy. I think he should have found some...especially on this day for lovers. Do you think I acted in haste? Not sure if I should apologize for biting his head off. Please help.
Well, I think you had a really strong emotional reaction based on expectations that he didn’t realize he was going to have to live up to. So, the short answer is, yes, I think you may have been a wee bit hasty in breaking up with him.
If you want to date this guy, I suggest you apologize. But first I want you to consider a few things. Namely, why was your reaction so big? If this was a standing date you’d had for years, I could see being fairly upset but having only dated for a few weeks and given that you hadn’t made the plans ahead of time, your angry reaction makes me wonder about your background and experiences. I think your reaction was much bigger than the issue at hand. I can understand being frustrated, but the sudden break up makes me wonder what you’re afraid of. Are you worried about being hurt? Disappointed?
Here’s the thing. He can’t possibly meet your expectations if you not only keep them from him but also punish him without giving him a chance to work things out. Maybe he’s not a spur of the moment guy. Maybe he didn’t realize Valentine’s Day was such a big deal for you. These are all issues that some communication could solve but you cant’ communicate if you break things off before you can even begin.
So, I would suggest talking to him but first I’d take a pretty honest look at you and really think about what just happened here. Are you ready for a relationship?
Wishing you love and serenity.
Don't be shy! Say what's on your mind and get a good dose of perspective in return.