Amy Answers
  • Home
  • Answers
  • Articles
  • Resources
  • About Amy
  • Contact

Amy's Answers

Enthusiastic In Love

12/5/2014

 
Dear Amy,
I am in a four-month relationship. I am with a woman who I adore and have a lot of fun with. She talks about the future with me. I get thrown off guard a little bit. She isn't always responsive. So I am thinking maybe I need to tone it down the compliments, the I love you's etc. I have a lot of enthusiasm about her but she is much more reserved. What am I dealing with here? We are in our fifties Dont know if that matters.


Dear Enthusiastic,

      No matter your age, I think the best policy in any relationship is to be yourself. It sounds like you have a good relationship and that she’s open to a future with you. And I think you’re making assumptions about why she might be reserved or occasionally unresponsive that may not be correct. Maybe her personality tends to be more reserved than yours. Or maybe past relationships and experiences have made her cautious. Either way, understanding her better will go a long way toward easing your fears.
     Whatever her reasons for being reserved, you should be careful about making changes in your behavior without truly understanding her reactions. If the relationship is going to work out, it should be based on the both of you being comfortable behaving in ways that make you feel like you’re being true to yourselves. I certainly sympathize. My significant other and I are much the same. I’m the exuberant one and he’s the reserved, private one. Sometimes the mixed signals lead to conflict and I think its safe to say that we resolve those conflicts best when we just face them head on. We talk, even if it’s a little uncomfortable at first, and I would suggest that you do the same.
     So, basically, my advice to you is to talk with your girlfriend. Tell her that you’re interested in her feelings and that you want to make sure that you’re not going too overboard. If she asks you to tone it down, then you’ll have a good reason to do so. But most likely, if she’s enjoyed being with you this long, your enthusiasm is probably part of what she likes and she’ll tell you that. Work together. Talk together. And have faith that she likes you just the way you are.

Amy

Comments are closed.

    Ask Amy

    Don't be shy! Say what's on your mind and get a good dose of perspective in return. 

    Archives

    October 2018
    September 2017
    July 2016
    October 2015
    September 2015
    June 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014

    Categories

    All
    Abusive Relationships
    Addiction
    Aging
    Alcoholism
    Blended Families
    Breakups
    Bullying
    Consent
    Culture
    Dating
    Divorce
    Drug Use
    Elder Abuse
    Family
    Flirting
    Friendship
    Friends With Benefits
    Grief
    Healthy Sexuality
    Identity Theft
    Infidelity
    Intimacy
    Jealousy
    Kids
    Loss Of Loved One
    Love
    Marriage
    Money
    Obsessive Thinking
    Parenting
    Peer Pressure
    Professional
    Relationships
    Safety
    School
    Self Esteem
    Self Image
    Sex
    Sexual Assault
    Sexual Harassment
    Siblings
    Spirituality
    Sports
    Technology
    Teenagers
    Verbal Abuse
    Work

    RSS Feed

Disclaimer: Though this site is intended for a wide range of ages, there may be some sexual content in some posts. Questions may be edited to make them more appropriate for a public audience. 
Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Home
  • Answers
  • Articles
  • Resources
  • About Amy
  • Contact