Don't Push Me

Dear Amy,
     I'm a woman in my mid-fifties who was in a fairly brief (4 month) relationship. My "boyfriend" was very intense and pushy, which made me feel uncomfortable, so I ended the relationship as delicately as I could.
     He seemed to take it as well as could be expected when we spoke in person, but I had a feeling that I hadn't heard the last of him; that he would try to continue the conversation with me. I was right. In the week since our "breakup conversation," he has sent me three lengthy texts and I have not responded because I don't want to engage in further conversation about this, or "fuel the fire." It seems that, as intense and pushy as he was being during the relationship, he is being equally intense and pushy about the breakup.
     Do you think I'm doing the right thing by not responding to his texts? Or do you think I should respond with a phone call to ask him to stop contacting me?

Dear Pushed,

     If intense and pushy is engrained in his personality, it’s not surprising that those behaviors are continuing. I would suggest one very short and straightforward text back that says something along the lines of “Please don’t contact me again.” Don’t apologize. Don’t justify. If you want to, you can acknowledge his feelings by saying something like “I understand that you’re struggling with this but…” Usually, I would recommend ignoring the whole sting of texts but on the small chance that his pushiness becomes harassment, at least you’ll have proof that you asked him to stop. Most likely, he’s just one of those people who has a hard time taking a hint and sometimes you just have to spell it out for those people.

Amy