Ok so my boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months and well we went to the high school football game (I'm in middle school) and the game was about 5 hours away and the school took some students and me and bf were some of the students that got to go. and we were going to sit together at the game but my friend kept telling me that he doesn't love me and stuff so then he asked me aren't we going to sit together? and I told him why don't you sit with her (referring to his ex that's like 4 years older than him) and he said no what's your problem I don't like her. and I said okay! and I was trying to make him jealous and I kept telling my friend like wow look at that guy and stuff like that. and my boyfriend whispered something to his fiends ear and his friend turns around and tells me that he's breaking up with me and I was crushed but I pretended that I didn't care and then yeah like 15 min later I find out that his dating his ex again and just went walking with my friends to buy a water and I was crying and I saw them holding hands and stuff. and yeah when I went to buy the water a really hot boy was there (he's the one that's selling the water) and he kept looking at me and stuff and I kept going to buy stuff and well at the end I ended up with his phone number and before I left the game I got to chill with him for a awhile and he's in my grade and my age and plays sports and is just perfect. and my ex found out and got a little jealous and like my ex kept talking and playing around with me and stuff like he use to do when we were dating and stuff and well yeah he told me he was only dating the other girl to make me jealous but I just didn't care anymore I was in love with the other boy. and the next day me and the other guy were chatting (since my phone broke I have to use my ipod but I’m getting a new one today) and we were flirting and stuff but that's basically all we’ve been doing.. idk if he’s going for me or not? cause like he told me I’m gorgeous and stuff and that he really likes me but the problem is that we live too far like 4 hours away..and he told me that he doesn't know what to do cause his friends told him just to ask for a nude picture and never talk to me again but he doesn't want to do that, and that he really likes me and wants to date me but we live too far and stuff but we've been talking like for 4 days now and we talk like from getting out of school to sleeping at night, and he’s been wanting my phone number so bad but idk why to be honest (I think he wants to talk to me on phone or facetime me) but I cant give it to him until I get my new phone which is today but I just wanted to ask you.. am I making a mistake with this guy..i honestly don't know if we are going to start dating or not.
I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up sounding like your mother here but please believe me when I say that I remember going through all this relationship stuff when I was your age and I know how complicated and overwhelming it can be. Here’s the truth. You’re going to date lots of boys and some are going to be awesome and some not so much. Your friends are going to complicate matters by telling you what they think about the boys. And you’re going to have to decide what you want to do and live with the consequences despite your friend’s best intentions. So, I suggest taking this opportunity to say to yourself “I am completely capable of making my own decisions and even if it isn’t what you think I should do, I am confident in my ability to be in charge of my own life.” Phew.
Ok, so now let’s talk about nude pictures and Facetime. I would tell you this and I would give the same advice to my 40 and 50 year old friends. Don’t send nude photos. And, if you Facetime or Skype or whatever, don’t do anything naked or sexual. The minute you do and you send it out in the world on your phone or computer, you lose control of it and it will come back to haunt you. Believe me, being a teenager is hard enough without providing people with things they can use against you later. (And a note to the boys and men of the world, penis pictures are not sexy. Period.).
Ok, off that soapbox and onto your other issues. You’re in middle school. The boy you want to date lives many hours away. You can have a relationship with him but its mostly going to be long distance so maybe just work on being friends. It’s much easier to be long distance friends and have it turn into something more than to date under these terms and at your age. That’s my humble opinion. And don’t send him nude photos! (Sorry, I couldn’t help but get that in there one more time).
The window of opportunity for having fun with your friends and being young gets shorter every day. There will come a time when you have to work and be an adult and you never get this time back so enjoy it! Try not to get too drawn into boy drama and learn to make your own choices based on what feels right for you. That skill will serve you well your whole life.
Don't be shy! Say what's on your mind and get a good dose of perspective in return.