Just last week my wife told me she wanted a separation. We've been together for 11 years and married for 6. We have 2 little girls. She say's she is no longer happy with who she is in our marriage, she knows she's being selfish, she doesn't love me that way anymore, and she needs her space and this is what she has to do for her. I offered to do whatever to work on our marriage she says I'm too late, that she is done. Neither one of us has the finances to move out and I don't want that anyway. She said she's willing to coexist under the same roof until she can acquire the finances to leave. I'm questioning her fidelity and am wondering if I there is a chance to save this marriage while we both coexist.
Nothing is impossible, but the path you are headed down is a difficult one. Co-existing would be hard work if you were both on the same page, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. If you’re working to save the marriage and she’s simply trying to move out, there’s going to be a lot of conflict. But you have two little girls that need to be in a stable environment so this is what I would suggest. Instead of focusing on your marriage, focus on being the best parents you can to those girls. Seek family counseling to work on coexisting peacefully. If there’s anything to salvage of your marriage, it may come out in counseling. But even if the marriage is over, you’ll be co-parenting for the rest of your lives and doing that well takes a lot of hard work.
I know that’s probably not what you want to hear but I’m worried that the two of you being at cross-purposes is going to make the situation even harder than it already is, both for you and for your girls. And sometimes, stepping back and refocusing on something else that is important can take the pressure off, and maybe you’ll find you and your wife getting along better because you’ll share a common goal.
Don't be shy! Say what's on your mind and get a good dose of perspective in return.